If you’re a woman, you’ve likely been told that casual sex — or, as it’s commonly called, “one-night stands” — aren’t good for you. In fact, some women say that they’re reluctant to go for sex with someone they really like because they fear what will happen if they don’t like it. Studies have shown that one in four women (and one in 10 men) have been on a “night out” with someone they’re having sex with, and this is mostly considered “casual” sex. But going out on a “night out” is different from a casual fling. The myth that “going out with a friend” is inherently safe compared to a one-night stand, because friends don’t have sex, is used to scare women from relationships they wish to have.
“Personally, I think casual sex is unhealthy, because people rarely have sex just once — it’s a repetitive cycle,” says Emba.
How many times have you had sex? That number and the frequency, as well as the time between attempts, says a lot about how you approach the “casual” thing. Is it going to be a one-night relationship? A set of three? Or maybe just an experience you and a friend go on. But as with all things, it’s all about healthy boundaries — you might be terrified to go for casual sex because you think that it could get weird, but that’s actually the exact opposite of what happens when you don’t communicate boundaries. You develop the freedom to accept yourself and be proud of yourself for making good choices about your own sexuality.
Getting casual can feel “icky,” but here’s the thing: Casual sex is good for you. “I don’t think that [being casual] is more sexually fulfilling than seeking a long-term relationship,” says Emba. “But because sex is more available today than it has ever been before, I think women need to be more aware of how they are getting that and what kind of consequences they might face. It can be empowering to have sex casually, but it’s not the same as having sex if you’re involved with someone.”
But it can be tempting to think of casual sex as the best option, and that might be true for you. The good news? That’s totally fine.
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Maybe it’s not what you’d consider to be a healthy relationship. Or maybe you just want to experience casual sex without the pressure to get
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